I was contemplating the idea of ‘resurrection’ this past week, most obviously because of the holiday weekend, but in regards to my life and my work as well. The literal idea of death, in order to rise from it. I began to embrace a meaning to this in regards to my creativity…and it has resonated for days.
This “Easter” weekend kind of snuck up on me. I have not celebrated “Easter” as the traditional celebration of the Catholic/Christian faith in over a decade. The idea that Jesus Christ died for our sins, in order that we as a people may be saved and experience everlasting life. Rising from the grave in 3 days after being crucified to show all that death can be conquered, is a story I was all too familiar with, but have let it disappear into my memory. The literal meaning of that story has always escaped me. Even as a child, I had a hard time digesting the story for face value. I always said to myself, there has to be a deeper, more universal meaning to all of this. I have since then embraced a broader belief system that encompasses the parallel of many ideas when it comes to spiritualism… which has lead me to think about “resurrection” as how I speak on it today. The depth of the idea of where resurrection can exist in our lives.
I read a quote my friend Violet sent me that said:
“The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over, no matter what my circumstances.” aR. Flatt
A resurrection is by definition : act or instance of a dead person coming back to life. I thought of death and how so many of us are afraid of it. Not just the literal sense of dying in the body, but the idea of something “dying”. Losing something we know, have become accustomed to, or something we know we have control over. Whether we enjoy “it” or not, is petrifying to most to lose it. That is why it is so hard to leave a job or career choice, or a spouse, or lose weight, or try something new and unfamiliar. Death is not pretty. Death brings up human emotion (if we allow it to), and it exposes a lot of vulnerability, and rawness. It evokes the question of “what am I to do, or who am I to be…without this?”. What is even scarier, is the answer: “ I don’t know.” Or do you?
Death commands the feeling and fear of just not knowing. The fear of not knowing if you will love again, or find someone to love you, the fear of not making enough money, the fear of not being or knowing enough to be successful, the fear of trying something new and it fails, the fears expressing true feelings and being judged…and losing respect. Hell, if everyone knew what happened to us after we died…for certain, do you think so many of us would be afraid of it? Or afraid of a life not fully lived before we meet the physical death?
But alas death comes whether we like it or not. I mean, have you ever gotten fired from a job you hated, or found out a mate was cheating on you in the midst of you both being unhappy? You have the audacity to get pissed about it because you are scared of this “death” and seeming betrayal, but in essence if it wasn’t ripped from you, you would have never left, and slowly you died inside because of it anyway. But here you are, naked, vulnerable, jobless, mate less and yet ready for a resurrection, in any form you wish it to be.
Resurrection is bringing life back. It can be bright, it can be loud, it is a surge of energy jolted back into that which is lifeless. But by nature, it cannot happen without death. And to willingly and consciously kill IT, or stop holding onto to IT and let it die, takes courage and a deeper knowing that transcends the initial “I don’t know”; that there is life is beyond death, passion, abundance, endurance, and satisfaction. There is another mate, another job, deeper respect, money…all of it. But dare I say it takes faith to travel through the ground shaking earthquake, the incinerating fire of death to experience the fresh naked baby skin of life and its open road ahead.
For me, I wrote about this because if has been a proven hypothesis again and again in the experiences of my life. I have let go of things so they could die, and have experienced fear, and overwhelm due to the shock of the seemingly unknown. But this had to occur only to discover richness and creativity I never could have imagined. In work, this has been leaving jobs to be freelance, saying no to small jobs so I could say yes to bigger ones, admitting I cannot do it alone so I could ask for help. Even with creativity, its letting go of old methods of doing my art so I can discover new ways to get it done better. With health it has been letting old habits die like excessive drinking, smoking, unconscious eating, so not only can I get more done, but have my body feel good while doing it. With friends and family its been
So I invite you to consider where in your life, resurrection wait for you, for a death to happen. What wants to die if you let it such that resurrection can ensue and revitalize you and your purpose? Abundance is letting go, and scarcity is holding on. I trust one should not throw the baby out with the bath water, and take the lessons the dying thing has served to you. However one cannot stop that baby from growing into what its meant to be.
Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.
From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity.
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